The Phone Call
by icklebrina
Summary: What happens when a reader gets ahold of J.K. Rowling's phone number and leaves a message? Is she a fan or isn't she? This is my first fan fic and just a little idea I got one day. It's a short oneshot.


A/N hey everyone! If you're reading this then you obviously came to read my story, I won't get in your way much longer, just to let you know, this is just an idea that came to me one day. And if I'm copying anyone with this story, please let me know! I'm not so far as I'm aware, but I haven't combed through all the stories to make sure. Anyway, read, enjoy and review!  
  
** The Phone Call  
**  
_Bring ...  
  
Bring ...  
  
Bring..._  
  
All was quiet in the dark house as the phone rang, the only thing moving was the cat curled up on the couch who pricked up an ear as the answering machine took the message. _'Hello, I'm not in at the moment. Please leave a message at the tone."  
_  
_Beeep_  
  
There was a rustling sound on the other end as the person began to speak. "Hello, J.K. Rowling?" it was a breathless female voice. The cat on the couch slowly pricked up its other ear toward the noise, "I had some important issues I wanted to discuss with you. Now I'll say right off the bat that I don't appreciate being called a 'muggle' it makes me sound so dumb! I much prefer 'normal' it would do much better. And I also don't appreciate your representatives for us 'normal' people. I mean look at the Dursley's! I don't know any body like that!" the cat's head slowly comes up as she talks faster and faster, "Thank goodness, those guys give me the creeps you write that so well!" there was a slight pause as if she had just realized what she said, "erm, ahem, And what about what those Deatheaters (what a horrid name are they supposed to eat death for supper every night or something?) Oh, ah, well, and what about what those Deatheaters did to that poor Mr Roberts family - and I have to tell you I feel rather strongly about this because those poor dears remind me of my son and daughter-in-law," she snorts and mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, "And what I wouldn't have given to have seen that!"  
  
The cat's head is now turned around facing the answering machine and gives a long slow blink as the woman continues. "And these 'spells' everyone knows that the only kind of 'spells' there are, are ones like spelling a word as in C-A-T spells cat. And then there's....." just as she's starting to get into her stride a voice interrupts her and there's muffled speaking for a minute. "Now," she said sounding a little huffed with indignation, "I should probably let you know, I have never once read your books..." she's interrupted by a snort in the background.  
  
Speaking louder as if to cover it up she hurries on "Well! I can't understand why people enjoy reading about the mistreatment of, mug- well, _normal_ people."  
  
Once again a snort is heard in the background, this time though it is accompanied by a deep voice. "Huh! You can't imagine! You only have read them 5 or 6 times! No, you've never read them once have you? You've read them more than once!" there was a pause and a thunk as the phone was set down.  
  
"How do you know?" she whispered.  
  
"You read them every night when you think I'm asleep! How do you expect me to keep sleeping when you're going, 'Ha- hahahahhaha! Hohoohoho!' On and on and on!? Or how about when you burst in tears when - what's his name? Oh, yeah - Sirius, died. You nearly flooded the place!"  
  
"How dare you! That is my own private business! You have no right..."  
  
"I'm your brother," he replies in a smug voice, "it's my _job_ to bug you! And it's so much fun to do too."  
  
Sounding defeated she replies, "Alright, fine, so I _have_ read them, happy? I admit it! And yes, I think they aren't that bad, but I don't want to! I don't want to!" suddenly there's a loud gasp, "the phone! I can't believe it! I never hung it up!" there's a brief sound of running feet and then...  
  
_Beeep_...  
  
The dark house is once again quiet as silence reigns supreme. All is quiet as the cat once again curls up on the couch with what would almost say was am expression of relief on it's face. Slowly, a soft contented purring sound fills the air as it drifts back off to sleep.  
  
THE END  
  
a/n And one last thing, I don't care if you leave me a flame or a 'it's okay, not good not bad' review (or of course a nice one if you say you liked it!) Just let me know what you think!

minniemae


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